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Eye on the Krab
Eye on the Krab is the twenty-first episode of the spin-off, Absorbent Days, and the first episode of season two. In this episode, Mr. Krabs is caught committing a monetary-related crime in his restaurant. The Federal Restaurant Agency of Underwater Diners states that Plankton must now watch over Mr. Krabs, acting as a parole officer. Several attempts to steal the formula have left Plankton desperate, and he may become very close to stealing the formula with the backup of the FRAUD agents. Will Plankton steal the formula, or end up with an empty package? This episode is paired with Samba Mater. Characters *SpongeBob SquarePants *Squidward Tentacles *Eugene H. Krabs *Sheldon J. Plankton *FRAUD Agents **Braxton/Male Fish 1 (debut) **David/Male Fish 2 (debut) *Miscellaneous Customers Transcript *''begins at the Krusty Krab; Mr. Krabs is strolling around the Krusty Krab'' *'Mr. Krabs:' It seems like everything is in check around here. sniffs Hmm...my nose thinks otherwise. Squidward, sleeping on the register I would fire him if I could. into Squidward's ear Squidward! Squidward! idea Squidward, your music career just took off. *'Squidward:' up abruptly Huh?! What?! Hand me my resignation papers! around Oh. in air It's just you. *'Mr. Krabs:' Yeah, it's just me. to Squidward Your commanding officer. And as your commanding officer, I command you to...commandingly get back to work! *'Squidward:' As if I were ever at work. *'Mr. Krabs:' Ha ha ha. Very funny. back to office If only I could fire...I need a vacation. door; walks into office *'Customer:' up to register I'll have one Krabby Patty, two large Krabby fries, and no mustard on the Krabby Patty. *'Squidward:' order Why did you order mustard not be on the patty after you told me you wanted a Krabby Patty? *'Customer:' You know. at watch I've got only an hour for lunch, and you're wasting it with this needless conversation. *'Squidward:' smiles Funny. frowns I don't get a lunch break. *'Customer:' eyes; sarcastically I'm so very sorry, cashier. quickly Not really. normally Can I please just get my order done? *'Squidward:' down ticket; takes dollar bill Yeah, SpongeBob will have that ready to go in...smirks ''say...one hour. *'Customer:' ''laughs Tee hee. Chuckle chuckle. angrily Thanks to you, I've wasted a minute and a half. I don't have time for this! away *'SpongeBob:' head out window Okay, Squidward. I have one Krabby Patty with extra mustard and one small Krabby fries. Huh? Who ordered this? *'Squidward:' bag Me. out Krabby Patty Happy lunch break to me. laughs *'Mr. Krabs:' out of office Mr. Squidward, what's with all of this nasal laughter? in horror; in disgust Mr. Tentacles, how...dare you dine during work hours? In front of the customers? In front of...gasps Cashy?! cashier buttons Avert your buttons, little one. at Squidward; growling You better have a pirate's good reason for doing this, Squidward. *'Squidward:' up dollar bill; sarcastically Huh? The customer left his money? Oh, whatever shall I do? holds up bill to Mr. Krabs There you go. There's my reason. *'Mr. Krabs:' Oh, well then. Carry on. briskly back to his office; opens door and stops If anybody needs me, don't need me. door *''cuts to the inside of Mr. Krabs's office; Mr. Krabs has laid the dollar bill on his desk'' *'Mr. Krabs: '''I've only seen this dollar a few times throughout my adventures in the seas. It's a dollar bill, but not any dollar bill. ''it up in triumph It's a dollar bill with 0.000001% nickel contained inside of its printing. These are the rarest of their kind. eyes Nobody seems to care about the value of money these days. idea Value...of...money! paintbrush; begins painting on dollar bill Just a little bit of finesse...and...voila! painting It's not five clams anymore. It's...up now dollar bill saying "500" instead of "5" five hundred clam-aroos! Whoo. It makes me feel younger when I illegally increase the value of dollars. dollar *''pans from behind Mr. Krabs to outside of the office window; the camera ends panning at the window pane, where it reveals Plankton, standing in the window, looking at Mr. Krabs'' *'Plankton:' self Why would Krabs illegally change the value of money right in front of an open window? And he owns the most successful restaurant in Bikini Bottom? facepalm But no matter. He may have fame and fortune, but I have up clam phone this! number Hey there, inferior lifeform. I am calling to complain about a certain restaurant owner. *'SpongeBob:' into Mr. Krabs's office Mr. Krabs? I think I need you. *'Mr. Krabs:' Didn't you hear what I told you, boy? *'SpongeBob:' laughing Probably not. *'Mr. Krabs:' Oh. Then what do you need?! *'SpongeBob:' My grill is having quotes "problems" again. *'Mr. Krabs:' Problems? What kind of problems? *'SpongeBob:' You know. winks Hint hint. *'Mr. Krabs:' Hint hint winks wink wink. *'SpongeBob:' Mr. Krabs; nudges Nudge nudge. *'Mr. Krabs:' SpongeBob's back Pat pat. *'SpongeBob:' from side to side Stretch stretch. *'Mr. Krabs:' I'm still not getting you, boy. And if that's the case, that means I'm losing money! at bill Or am I? into kitchen with SpongeBob *'Plankton:' onto desk I think I may have gotten more than I bargained for. bill Wow, Krabs. Even with your amount of wealth, you always want more. Nice game, Krabs. out a duplicate bill Too bad the company made this game multiplayer. up real bill and replaces it with counterfeit bill; laughs evilly; hears Krabs coming Uh oh. Better get going. out grappling hook; shoots it to wall; looks down and sees grapple on leg You know, I don't expect anything different at this point in my life. to wall; hangs upside down I knew I shouldn't have sprang for that double grappling hook. *'Mr. Krabs:' office door Gosh, that grill puts up a fight. Who knew that patties could be used as a weapon? to desk; camera cuts to Plankton, surprisingly unscathed from door *'Plankton:' Ha! That puny door is no match for me! It's about time inanimate objects knew who's its master! evilly That sounded better in my head. up at leaving rope; looks at other end of grappling hook, attached to the door Why did I give the grapples suction abilities? with door; slammed into wall, breaking it Ouch. Still doesn't hurt as much as not getting the formula. *'Mr. Krabs:' at wall; walks to crack Oh, just great. Just another thing to rid me of me money. sighs It's a good thing I get paid enough for this! back to desk; sits on chair Just great. Now me dollar's all cold. *'Voice:' Ironic, huh? places handcuff on Mr. Krabs's wrist Because you're going to be spending a lot of time in the stony lonesome...which is even colder than that dollar of yours. dollar away *'Mr. Krabs:' Hey! Who might you be?! *'Male Fish:' reveals a white fish with a dark suit on I am Braxton from the Federal Restaurant Agency of Underwater Diners. We have a report for an anonymous source that you, Mr. Krabs, have committed...flourish...what did he commit again? *'Male Fish 2:' into room; sighs It's a good thing they pay me just for this conversation. aloud We are suing Eugene Krabs here for...flourish monetary-related fraud. *'Mr. Krabs:' in relief Oh. It's just that. I thought it was something like tax fraud. cuts to behind Mr. Krabs, where he shredding a tax sheet *'Male Fish 2:' in until reaching Mr. Krabs's face What do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Krabs? posture, away from Mr. Krabs We all knew that you were cheap... *'Mr. Krabs:' up hand Whoa whoa whoa. Wait a clam second. to self with thumb; closes eyes; sticks nose up I am not cheap. *'Squidward:' into office Mr. Krabs, I can see that you're coughs pretty busy, but...uh...there's a customer that says he wants his penny back. *'Mr. Krabs:' Oh, really? *'Squidward:' eyes Here we go again. *'Mr. Krabs:' up bat; hits bat on hand Seems hard enough. to Squidward Chase him away with this. *'Squidward:' I wonder if I ever had to do this in college. away *'Mr. Krabs:' at agents See, fellas. to head Smart, huh? By chasing the customer away, I don't have to give him money. So, in a sense, I'm losing gasps...losing money! the floor; begins sobbing What have I done? Noooo! onto Braxton's leg Hold me, Benjamin. *'Braxton:' It's Brax...never mind. at Male Fish 2 Should we cuff him? *'Male Fish 2:' I don't know if we should cuff him or rock him to sleep. If this continues, the world will have eight oceans. Mr. Krabs off of Braxton's leg Man yourself up, Krabs! We're not going to arrest you. *'Mr. Krabs:' waves up I don't care about that! Me money's gone. *'Male Fish 2:' In fact it is. counterfeit bill and places it in pocket We're going to have to confiscate this, Mr. Krabs. *'Mr. Krabs:' angry Haven't I lost enough money? shirt pocket off of Male Fish 2 It's okay, little dollar. Why do you need him anyway?! *'Braxton:' out marker If I have to draw you a picture...mark on dollar See?! It's fake! *'Mr. Krabs:' to Braxton You write on me dollar again...! *'Braxton:' Krabs hand down Whoa, calm down, Krabs. It's just business. *'Mr. Krabs:' If I gave a clam shell about business, do you think I would be a restaurant owner? up dollar I would rather go to the stoney lonesome than to be parted from me hard-earned money! *'Male Fish 2:' up handcuffs That can be arranged, crab. *'Braxton:' in Male Fish 2's ear; aloud We have reached our final decision. *'Male Fish 2:' No we haven't. *'Braxton:' again; aloud Now we have, right? *'Male Fish 2:' Affirmative. We have decided not to send you to the Bikini Bottom Jail, Eugene. *'Mr. Krabs:' Whoo. That's a relief. *'Male Fish 2:' But!...in order to make sure that nothing like this occurs in the future... *'Braxton:' ...We are going to hire somebody to watch over you. Sort of a probation thing. *'Mr. Krabs:' Probation?! sighs Not again. *'Male Fish 2:' But Braxton, how exactly are we going to find a person to watch over...him? look at Mr. Krabs *'Mr. Krabs:' dollar bill into bed Good night, little one. at Braxton and Male Fish 2 Hey, what are you two looking at? *'Male Fish 2:' back at Braxton Who?! *'Plankton:' into room; sarcastically Oh no. It looks like Krabs is busy again. around I just thought that I should keep a emphasis "keen eye" on him, just in case he needed anything. *'Male Fish 2:' at Plankton What about him? *'Braxton:' No way, David. He's only got one eye. I bet he can't even see past his own hands. Not to mention he's smaller than a... *'Plankton:' Hey! I can both hear and see you, thank you very much! *'Braxton:' I'm over here. cuts to reveal Plankton looking to the right while Braxton is to the left *'Mr. Krabs:' up No way! Not him! He's nothing but a criminal. *'David:' And you're not? *'Mr. Krabs:' Well, uh...well, that's not important. What's important is that he is going to try and steal what's rightfully mine. Not just mine, but something that belongs to the entire Krusty Krab! to safe The formula. *'Braxton:' Really? Something that small trying to steal something that's even higher up than you, Mr. Krabs? *'Plankton:' self Why do they act as if I'm too small to have emotions? aloud Here's how it's going to go, gents. onto Braxton's shoulder I'll watch this cheapskate here, you guys leave and trust me with the services, and I'll take care of this little dollar here. Eh? *'Mr. Krabs:' You two aren't seriously going to consider... *'Braxton:' You've got yourself a deal, Mr...uh...diminutive...king. out of office with David *'Mr. Krabs:' finger to Plankton's chest You may have fooled those two agents. You may have even fooled me fellow employees. Yet, you haven't fooled me yet, Plank-twerp! *'Plankton:' smiles Oh calm down, Krabs. The two agents have left me with a job, and there's nothing you can do about it. *'Mr. Krabs:' laughs Oh ho. We'll see about that! walking out of office; stops at door arch Hey! Those agents worked for a company called FRAUD! away; mumbling Why the nerve of some... *'Plankton:' hand; smirks evilly Things always go well when I get what I want. *''cuts to the Chum Bucket; an abundance of tinkering and machinery is heard; camera pans in to the dining room; camera pans into laboratory, revealing Plankton as the source of all of the sound'' *'Plankton:' a hammer; bangs hammer on metal; wipes sweat Whoo. It really takes a lot out of you hammering in some screws. on screw I think that's enough work for one lucrative afternoon. *'Karen:' I know that you are limited by your...coughs size, honey, but...you've only gotten through one screw. *'Plankton:' cuts to reveal Plankton have only screwed in only one screw into a box; facepalm Sometimes I just wish that I hadn't gone into a life of evil. *'Karen:' Plankton on ground You too, huh? hammer and begins hammering in the screws *'Plankton:' Thanks, honey. *'Karen:' Yeah yeah. down hammer Now what exactly is this that you're building? *'Plankton:' Something I should have built a long time ago. It's my one key to the secret formula. evilly A key indeed. evilly *'Karen:' to self I've heard this joke too many times to find it not funny anymore. sighs It's not even a joke anymore. *''cuts to the Krusty Krab, where Plankton is lugging his box'' *'Plankton:' Krusty Krab; pulling on rope; struggles Gosh. Who knew that taking down someone a hundred times bigger than you would be so difficult? Wait a minute. head Duh. pulling on rope; growls; lets go of rope This is useless. It's like this thing isn't even going anywhere. out measuring tape; measures That's because it's not. up Well, this looks as good a place as any. It'll destroy anything within a... at notepad Krusty Krab radius...and somewhat one-fourth of the Chum Bucket radius. *'SpongeBob:' out of kitchen; holding tray One Krabby Patty with one large Krabby fries ready for pick-up. *'Customer 2:' to register Is that my order? *'SpongeBob:' I don't know. Is it? *'Customer 2:' thinks Yeah, I think so. I'll take it. tray *'SpongeBob:' at ticket It looks like his order. Yeah, it says number nine, and a few squiggly lines. ticket around Oh, wait a minute. That was supposed to go to order number six. shoulders Oh well. back into kitchen Better remake the order. sniffs Hmm. What's that odor? *'Squidward:' on magazine Does it smell worse than the kitchen? *'SpongeBob:' sniffs Yep. *'Squidward:' face into magazine Probably an explosive. *'SpongeBob:' into dining room, attempting to sniff out source Where is it coming from? grunting And what's that sound? at a struggling Plankton *'Plankton:' back on rope; stops struggle; exhales deeply Gosh, this thing is heavy. *'SpongeBob:' Hey, Plankton, what'cha do...on nail in ground; hand throws up wooden plank; bomb is thrown into air *'Plankton:' Whoa. You think it would be harder to get five grams off of the ground. alarmed SpongeBob! Keep that bomb from hitting any liquids! It'll activate the bomb when it reaches any bases! *'SpongeBob:' I'll try my best. and walking backward to catch bomb; slips onto table, spilling a drink on himself Don't worry. I got this! to spray drink off of body *'Plankton:' Nooo! SpongeBob out of way; bomb falls on Plankton; bomb is thrown by Plankton's body, which acts as an accordion Ow. *'SpongeBob:' falls to ground, spraying out into air That's a relief. Uh oh! in front of bomb, which is about to bounce into the freefalling soda; bomb is then bounced back by SpongeBob's body *'Plankton:' Yes! My plan is still working...sort of! at approaching bomb Just great! in fear; bomb falls into open mouth Now I regret Karen placing that soda in my lunch box today. begins beeping *''cuts to a long shot of the Krusty Krab; bomb explodes; Plankton moans in pain; screen reveals text that says "Strike 1: NUCLEAR EXPLOSIONS"; screen then reveals "FAILED"'' *'Mr. Krabs:' out of office What in the name of Alexander Clam Bill...to self Bill...yells is going on here?! laughing Whoa! Looks like Plankton is half the paramecium he was yesterday. laughs *'Plankton:' reveals Plankton, sliced in half; sarcastically Ha ha ha, Krabs. self back together; normally Laugh all you can, but let's see what the FRAUD agency has to say about this little out clam phone incident. *'Mr. Krabs:' You wouldn't! *'SpongeBob:' out with order Sorry about the incident, customers. It won't happen again. *'Customer 3:' voice Ah ha, I bet it won't. yawns All of this waiting has made me tired. foot slips SpongeBob, causing the drink to spill *'Plankton:' over phone with Mr. Krabs Give me this phone right now, Krabs! Over suffer the consequences! *'Mr. Krabs:' Consequences?! I would like to see you try. *'Plankton:' I meant the FRAUD company, you crustacean! *'Mr. Krabs:' nervously Oh, well...uh...there's that, I guess. *'Plankton:' That's right! laughs And when they're done with you, you'll hear from my lawyers! Speaking of hearing, do you hear that? *'Mr. Krabs:' Don't you find it weird how no one ever hears anything that you hear? *'Plankton:' It sounds like...soda! at approaching soda; soda short-circuits the phone Oh, come on! appears with text that says "Strike 2: TECHNOLOGY"; screen then reveals "FAILED" *''cuts to Plankton, walking into Krabs's office'' *'Plankton:' Mr. Krabs's desk Krabs, ol' buddy. How's life been? The restaruant? How has it been doing? Buddy ol' pal. *'Mr. Krabs:' looking at paperwork You know, you're real funny, Plankton. You've kept me laughing all day. back in chair But you know what's not funny. Trying to get the formula out of me. *'Plankton:' stutters Why...you think...well, I...I am...offended, sir. Just because I've tried one hundred fifty three thousand, two hundred ninety five times to steal your formula means that I'm trying to get it out of you now? arms and turns around That's just insulting. *'Mr. Krabs:' Oh, then you wouldn't mind a hair if I placed the up bottle formula right here...on me desk. writing down more on paperwork *'Plankton:' to sweat Uh...nope. Not even a follicle. tapping foot Nope. It'll just be me...standing here, right next to...gulps the formula. coughs Is it getting...you know...warm in this...uh...particular...gulps place in...the...ocean? heavily; snaps That's it! Give me it! bottle and leaps off desk; takes out cork; opens paper Here it is! Karen always said one hundred fifty three thousand, two hundred ninety six times the charm was a quote of good wisdom. Let's see. reading What?! This isn't the formula for a Krabby Patty. reveals paper saying 1/2bh It's the formula for the area of a triangle! up paper; camera shows "Strike Three: GENERIC ASKING; screen comes up with text saying "FAILED" *'Mr. Krabs:' Hey! That paper costed me money! *''cuts to Plankton, standing in the Krusty Krab cashier line'' *'Plankton:' Why in the world would Karen lie to me? hands Oh, please. Who needs her? I can do this by myself. And what better way to obtain a Krabby Patty...cuts to reveal Plankton as next in line than ordering one? *'Squidward:' Next in the...sighs extremely long line that is interrupting my reading time. *''cuts to SpongeBob, cooking patties in the kitchen; juggling order tickets, buns, and patties'' *'SpongeBob:' exhaling Let's see. Two double Krabby Patties, three kiddy meals, one Krabby Patty at order ticket no patties and...no buns? What?! patties on buns; one patty misses; patty tips over a pan, which contains an open flame; the flame burns all of the patties on the buns except for itself Nooo! Not with all of these orders to fill. up the last patty At least I still have you. catches fire and disentegrates Tartar sauce...which is pretty much the only thing we have left. *'Plankton:' offscreen One Krabby Patty, extra Krabby Patty, and a side of a printed paper of your formula. And make it snappy! at watch Karen claims she needs me back by at least four. *'Squidward:' Uh ha. Uh ha. Yeah. Whatever. order ticket to SpongeBob *'SpongeBob:' face out of window; nose punctures order ticket Squidward! I have a crisis situation. *'Squidward:' When do you not? *'SpongeBob:' We're all out of patties, Squidward. *'Squidward:' I don't see how this concerns me, so I'm going to open this magazine, up magazine, down sit down, and read it until all of the customers leave. reading magazine *'Customers:' Oh come on! yelling Just great! mumbling ...my only lunch hour! customers stomp away, leaving Plankton *'Plankton:' growling That's...it! I've tried to blow up this place single-handedly, shut this place down, kindly ask for it, and now I wait in an extremely long line for nearly a whole hour just to have it ripped away...once again! If you dunderheads won't give me the formula, smiles then I'm going to have to get it...grips Plankton's back moi-self! into Mr. Krabs's office *'SpongeBob:' Shouldn't we stop him? *'Squidward:' If I cared, in magazine I still wouldn't. *''cuts to Mr. Krabs's office; Plankton lands on desk'' *'Mr. Krabs:' up at Plankton Why are you back in here? *'Plankton:' Save your questions! menacingly You know very well why I'm here. It's the same reason I've come into this blasted office for the past fifty years! hand to fist To steal your formula! *'Mr. Krabs:' up You'll that formula when my safe door opens by itself and hands you the formula itself! *'Plankton:' I think that can be arranged, Krabs! whistles *''agents walk into office'' *'Braxton:' in through teeth Krabs, Krabs, Krabs. We tried to tell you, but I guess you just wouldn't listen. Mr. Plankton was assigned to keep an eye on you, yet you stopped him from doing that. And now, you're going to have to pay...with cash that is. *'Mr. Krabs:' But...but but...but...fist down with idea but it wasn't my fault! The customer is the one that gave me the dollar. He must have been the one who had the counterfeit bill in the first place! Before I even wrote on the dollar, it was already fake! chuckles I love finding loopholes. *'David:' Hmm...you might have a point, Eugene. to dollar Search the dollar, Braxton. *'Braxton:' flashlight Well, I'm not seeing any fish-like fingerprints...closer but I do see...paramecium-like fingerprints. *'Plankton:' I'm not a paramecium! I'm a Plankton! Uh...not that I would know any Plankton who would do such a thing. *'Braxton:' Oh, really? up Plankton and shakes him; a dollar bill falls out of back pocket What's this, Mr. Plankton? out marker; draws mark on bill The mark is faint! *'David:' Mr. Plankton, out tiny handcuffs you are under arrest for...whatever monetary-related crime that was just committed here. Plankton out of office *'Braxton:' And by federal law, I must real 500 clam bill confiscate this dollar bill. out office *'Mr. Krabs:' laughs Irony, I guess. Getting my dollar confiscated by a company called FRAUD. chuckles Wait a minute! Really, I just got robbed! *'Plankton:' formula bottle Get used to it, Krabs! out office, laughing evilly *'SpongeBob:' into scene from kitchen Mr. Krabs! Plankton just stole the formula! Quick! Call the police! Call anybody that can stop a Plankton! Like a...whale! *'Mr. Krabs:' Whoa, don't go all...weird on me, boy. The formula's still safe. *'SpongeBob:' Really? calms ''Whoo. ''sweat I'm not even sweating. Say, Mr. Krabs. If Plankton didn't steal the formula, then...what did he take? *'Mr. Krabs:' Let's just say that...laughing he'll do good in geometry class. laughs *''ends'' Category:Absorbent Days Category:Absorbent Days Episodes Category:Absorbent Days Episodes: Season Two Category:Episodes Category:Templates Category:Season Premiere Category:2013 Category:Transcripts Category:Episode Transcripts